CHOOSING LOVE OVER FEAR

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Sifting through the shifting sands of memory, I realize that growing up, I undoubtedly lived in two different realities.

There was my real world reality of small-town life; bumpy roads and long walks to school, evenings tending our Store (and ignoring waiting customers while I lost myself in a good book), weekends doing laundry and wading baths in peaceful hidden streams in the vale, and over it all, the pervading dust that cast a layer of brown film over everything. That was my mundane.

Then I had the other world. My real world. The secret world in which I sighed and wept and moped up the tears over my journal while I dreamt and chronicled cherished dreams of grand romances, fascinating exploits, and travels to far-flung places. Needless to say, I much preferred this world. But dramatics aside, what I loved above all, was that in this reality of mine I could dream as big as I want, about whatever I wanted. I think it’s important to have that.

I don’t know why, but with these images, all the memories came whooshing into me, along with the realization that all that I was looking for, I had always had. Yes, that might sound cliche, but it is true. Love? So much, especially from Grandmother, my cup ran over. Adventure and exploits? We kids had enough to fill a never-ending book. Resources, opportunities, a chance to chase my dreams? All the obstacles I faced helped me sift through the dreams and goals that I truly wanted, versus the ones that society wanted for me. And that desire and strife to be worthy?

We already are worthy, my love. We won that race to the egg. We have been fearfully and wonderfully made. We are HERE. Our inherent worth is priceless. We ALREADY ARE worthy. I hope you always remember this.

 As for my two realities, I needn’t have preferred one reality over the other, because both realities served me and helped push me forward more into the life I was meant to live. I would always think at the time, that I couldn’t wait to begin my life, but really, I was already living! Because once you hold a vision of what you desire in your mind and start working towards it, you start to live.

And these moments right now? They are perfect. Because there is love, so much love; and as long as I have that, I’ll be alright. Because that is all that we need. Chuck all the material things! They are not essential. Just let there be love.

And guys, I have soooo much love bubbling over!

For Freddie, for her amazing interview with StyleLikeU for the #WhatsUnderneath project. Freddie, thank you for that game-changing interview. For speaking your truths and unabashedly being totally yourself, and inspiring me to do the same, to speak my truths, my entire truths. I never felt as empowered as I did watching your video and reading the accompanying blog post. Thank you for breaking the veil of silence and speaking out on these issues (especially on racism and choosing the right friendships) that still plague us today.

Do go over and read and watch guys, it’s so worth it.

For Mae, for the timely encouragement and reminders to choose love over guilt. For reminding me that it’s not a question of who am I to do what I love, but rather a question of who am I to NOT do that. That’s why we are here. To do what we love and move ourselves, our families, our communities, humanity forward. When you ever face such, I hope you choose love too.

For M, my partner, my soulmate, my other half. For believing in us so much that you would never let me go, despite racial slurs and disapproval from society and even my self-sabotage, ha. Thank you for a love that withstands the test of time. For challenging me to grow and be more than I even dream. For being my biggest supporter and second biggest critic (I’m the first.) You don’t know this, but how many times have people come up to me to tell me how blessed I am to have a man who loves me so much. I already know people, and I love him too. I love you to the moon and back a million times my love, and I can’t even imagine a life that does not have you in it.

And for you, dear reader, for choosing to be here all this time, when there are a million other things you could choose to do. Thank you for giving me a space to inspire you and me towards living lives of purpose and passion. I love and appreciate this so much. Thank you so much for the feedback, critique and encouragement too. For pushing me to do better. I hope I get to give this back to you a thousandfold.

Sorry (not sorry) for the Oscar speech loves, I don’t know but I’m just brimming over with love where there was overwhelm and guilt just some days ago. I almost deleted this space, because I felt my voice was restricted, and I wanted a space to be free and uncensored, (That also explains why I closed the comments) but I’m so glad I didn’t.

Okay guys, now on to the faCHIOON. How beautiful and romantic is this houndstooth patterned dress?? The detailing of the cut-out and bow in the back is just perfect. I’ve had since summer last year but I’ve only just worn it because it was a bit bigger than my size. I only just fixed it down to my size. By myself! I’m polishing up my sewing skills, yo. Did someone just say chic domestic goddess?? *wink wink*

Also this dreamy faux crocodile-textured structured peachy beauty of a bag. How much I love it! 😛

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How perfect is that flare?

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Also in love with these two glass beads bracelets I recently got from our Easter trip to Elmina. Can’t wait to show you more of our trip, stay tuned!

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Dress – H&M

Ballerina flats – Madina

Belt – Tesco

Bag – Deichmann (Slovakia)

Bracelets – Ko-Sa Beach

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Cara

26 Comments

  1. Cara……I finally met you. Lovely read. You are magical.

    “We won that race to the egg…….” my favorite line.

    What, you are a slayer!

    • Hey Jen, what???!!! Thank you. What an honour! 🙂

      Checking it out and sharing it. 😉

  2. You have some of the most inspired writing and can always put into words feelings I didn’t even know I felt until I read them here on your blog. I was worried when I visited on friday and could not comment! Being quite transparent, as a blogger the reason I visit so many blogs and comment so regularly is that (like most) I’m trying to be in a community among my fellow bloggers, to get exposure,and to find my ‘tribe’ as they say…but yours is one of the few blogs I’ve found through comments that I truly enjoy reading for it’s content and will continue to visit.

    Also, my husband reads every one of my blog posts after I publish and he has commented on how sweet “cara’s” comments are many times! Seriously he is always blown away by how kind you are and your genuine feedback on my posts. It’s clear that you are happy, positive woman and I hope you never doubt your ‘space’ again! xox

    • Tristan,
      Reading this comment last night (and today) left a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I don’t even know what to say, so I hope a ‘thank you’ will be a good start….
      Bless you, lady. <3

  3. Oooh you’ve changed your hair, its hard to keep up with you Gurl! There’s so much to focus on with your aritcle but I’m going to mainly focus on your StyleLikeU mention: so nice to know someone else who watches these, I’ve been following the site now and their different series for about 5 years now…I watched the Freddie interview last wk and loved it too! Happy to hear you’re brimming with love hon and feeling better. This space can be whatever you want it to be! Have a good week hon! ( :

    • Wow, and I only discovered them late last year. I’ve been missing out on good stuff! This space can be all that I want it to be…ok gonna keep that in mind..
      <3 <3

    • Thank you, Meron, it does indeed. And I haven’t forgotten the promise to relate the love story…so stay tuned for that dear. <3

  4. Hi Cara,

    How are you doing? Awww, a very heart-warming Oscar speech indeed. 🙂

    I enjoyed reading this, there were life lessons that both touched and inspired me. I love how along our life’s journey, we reflect, looking back at where we’ve been, are and plan to be. The people in our lives enrich our experience with their love and understanding.

    You look lovely, the orange bag adds a delightful pop of colour to the monochrome dress.

    Have a beautiful weekend.

  5. Beautiful soul, your words are life to me. I adore your openness and the way you suck the very marrow out of living. You inspire me on so many levels. Continue shining. May your cup continue to overflow with love and blessings.

    As for that dress, love, Love, LOVE! You’ve got skills, girl.

    xoxoxo & (((HUGS)))

    • Sometimes your comments render me speechless, I feel like there is no reply that would do justice to how they make me feel. This is one of such times.
      Nadine, so much love to you. <3 <3

  6. Reflecting on life is what I normally do sometimes.
    Annnddd, you are allowed for the Oscar speeches. Yes! You are!!!! Hahaha.
    Watching the video now 🙂

  7. I love this post because it show you are at that point known as ‘I am that I am’. In this space, you’re filled with completeness, love and hope.

    By the way, you look awesome in that dress. I recommend it Instagram ‘tings’.

    🙂

    – PBW

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