September 6, 2016

(The story of how I went from natural to texlaxed, and back to natural…)

A few months ago, yanking at my hair while Milos and the kids hollered at me to HURRY UP, because we were going out, something in my head just snapped, and the very next chance I got, I bought a tub of relaxer, and went from natural to texlaxed hair. And then, I proceeded to chop off half of my hair.

You might think it was a bit of a spontaneous decision, but actually it wasn’t. I had been contemplating a change in hair style ever since I entered my second year of the natural hair journey post big chop. My hair grew so much that it got increasing more difficult to manage (especially as I eschewed combs or heat tools, one of my major mistakes!). To spice up my pot of trouble, braids which are supposed to be a “protective style” broke my fine-stranded hair and weaves were worse. Grrrr. It looked like I was stuck with wigs as my only alternative and I was beginning to hate them! So that was it, it was either  time for another big chop (which would fit in well with my pattern of a big chop every couple of years, ha) or  something had to give. So a texlax and a half chop it was!

Even as the regret singes my soul (but not so much, because setbacks are all a part of the journey, right?) and I wail at my bloody hands (oh why you scissor-happy hands, whyyyyy) , I decided to write this so as to warn you fellow natural (and a future me!) should you ever be so tempted, perish the thought.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against relaxed/texlaxed hair, BUT I do miss my curls, and I wish I had changed my hair in a less drastic fashion, because a relaxer is PERMANENT, till you grow your hair back. Relaxed/texlaxed hair is also more prone to breakage as the relaxing process weakens your hair shaft and results in raised hair cuticles, making your hair more prone to dryness (as we needed more of that, hmph) and hence breakage.

Deciding to grow out your natural hair can be a bit of a rocky journey. Certainly not everyone around you is going to like it, and some are going to be pretty vocal about that dislike (from your security guard to random people you meet on the street, as I found out to my chagrin, gaaah).

Anyway, you have to take precautionary measures; you have to have some strong tools in your survival bag. So here I am, sharing my mistake, and I hope this helps enlighten someone out there.

If you know you’ll miss your curls too much, then please DON’T relax your hair.

There are alternatives out there, like a new protective style of weaves or braids, or if your hair strands are too fine for that, then consider a blow out or a silk press. A silk press involves the careful use a blowdryer and a flat-iron to straighten natural hair which has been thoroughly washed and deep conditioned. The new hairstyle can last even a month or more, which is great!

Did you know that there are such terms as blow-dried naturals and straight-haired naturals?? Don’t you just love how many options we have even as we go chemical-free?

It’s the chemical-free hair for me y’all, let the transition begin! (Again…)

And this time, it’s a yes to blow-outs, combs and brushes. That’s nothing wrong in easing the journey, n’est pas?

What say you?

Aaaah, it’s a glorious love affair with my locks, growing and learning through my own mistakes; loving every inch of the journey! I highly encourage you too to continue to self-care for your locks! Let’s continue to live,  love and learn, my loves!

Thank you for reading, loads of love to you!

xoxo, Cara

PS. This is a photo of my transitioning texlaxed hair a little blown-out. It’s growing back in nicely, despite so many frequent trims these days, or perhaps because of them!


  1. I recently cut my hair again after six years of being natural and I must say it was at first a sad experience but now I’m falling in love with the new growth. I’m forming a routine and watching my hair thrive with better care because now I know how to care for it better!
    How are you?

  2. Aw, Cara! Thank you for sharing this experience. I almost got a relaxer out of frustration with how long it was taking me to detangle my hair. Someone advised me to FIRST get my hair pressed and wear it that way for a few weeks before applying chemicals. I’m glad they did. I’ve decided to stay natural! 🙂 Your hair looks good and is growing. You’re going to appreciate it even more!

    Can you talk a little bit more about your feelings about using a comb versus NOT using a comb? Every now and then I will watch a video about finger-only detangling, and it makes me feel somewhat concerned about using the “funnel method” of detangling (
    Take care!

    1. Hi Stella! First of all thank you for checking up on me the other day, I really appreciated it. And second, I read about your transitioning as well on your blog. So let’s goooo!!! The more the merrier 😉

  3. Oh wow!!! You made the decision so fast tho, wish i had your boldness but i am just as close to relaxing my hair.. not because its tough but i feel like am ready to have straight hair again because my hair a lot healthier than it was before i went natural.. Your texture still looks beautiful

    1. Oh girl I really feel you on this, as it is one of the very reasons why I switched up as well. I’d really advice you to try a blowout or silk press before you do anything drastic. You could have a straight look for a month or so and then switch back to your curls later. xo

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